You Jesus-Loving Jerk

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." {James 1:19}

I have struggled with being a mean person my entire life. Now, when I say mean, I'm not talking about cheesy sarcasm or friendly teasing, that just means that I'm friends with you. No, I'm talking about the cut-you-to-the-core mean, brutal comments and a temper that reminds me that even though I am indeed forgiven, I still have a disgusting sin nature. 

When I decided to wholeheartedly follow Jesus the summer before my freshman year, God slowly started breaking down the walls in my heart, showing me that my anger was worthless and disgusting compared to the light I walk in when I act like Jesus and hold my tongue. I have come so far since that point, but I would be lying to you if I said that fighting the temptation to be a total jerk was not a daily struggle. 

My devotions lately have been convicting me even more. I've been reading in 1 Peter (if you need a book of the Bible to read, you should read it...so thought provoking). 1 Peter 2:1 says, "Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind." A chapter later, in 1 Peter 3:8, it says, "Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble." 

One of my favorite verses is 1 John 2:6, "Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did." I've spent some time connecting the dots between those three verses (there are more I've been thinking about too, I just figured I'd stick with three). If we claim to be Christians, we've gotta walk like Jesus. Jesus did not walk around cutting people down, making power plays, and having snippy comebacks when He was impatient or wanted something to get done His way. I know that example sounds stupid, since He was a perfect Savior, but just think about that image. Are we walking like Jesus? 

Are we getting rid of malice and the nastiness and evil language that pours out of us? Are we sympathetic, compassionate, and loving towards people? Do we treat people with the dignity, respect and brotherly love that Jesus would have had towards them, even if they are "strange" or "not cool"? 

Or do we cut people down with our words, brushing them off as if they are worthless? Do we treat certain people better than others? Go read the beginning section of James 2, obviously that isn't biblical. Are we loving Jesus while acting like complete jerks at the same time? 

This was honestly less of a post than a rant God has put on my heart. I would like to apologize as well, I am not necessarily fond of people, but lately I have been impatient, bitter and brusque to the point of being sinful, and that's not okay. This spoke to my heart, and hopefully it speaks to yours as well. 

Simple challenge: love people like Jesus, all the time, every minute. It doesn't matter whether it's the grocery bagger, the President or the kid that people like to make fun of in youth group (because sadly, hypocrisy reigns in the church). Be different, be the Christian that actually acts like Christ, and people will start to take notice. 

The Disgusting Eye Opener

*IMPORTANT NOTE*'

If you don't feel like having a weird image of me stuck in your mind or you gross out easily, I would not read this post. :) If this hasn't scared you off yet, read on...

Today, God showed me some spiritual insights in one of the weirdest ways I've ever experienced. I woke up at 5 this morning with a stomach that felt like it was on a roller coaster (that is, I was pretty nauseous). Preparing for the inevitable, I pulled myself out of bed, wandered to the kitchen, and grabbed a bucket (I'm pretty sure you know why). Hold on to your seats ladies and gents, because this is where I manage to gross myself out with my own story. 

Well, as it turned out, my stomach was reallyyy messed up, and I threw up so hard that we think I wasn't getting oxygen, because the next thing I know, I wake up on the kitchen floor. There's really no way of putting this delicately to get my point across, so essentially, I found out that even when you pass out, you don't stop throwing up, so I woke up completely disgusting, because you obviously can't hold on to a bucket when you are passed out on the floor. 

By now you may be cringing and completely grossed out, or wondering why in the world I would tell you this. Well, here's the part where God used this total mess to get me to see some realities. I stood there, trying really hard not to cry (come on, you would be in the same boat if it was 5 am and you were covered in nastiness). That's when God laid something important on my heart...

I would be cleaned up. My mom would jump out of bed and start cleaning my mess up while I took a shower. Then, she would tuck me in and I'd go back to sleep. Yeah, I would still be sick, but I would have comfort, the presence of a loving caring family, meds to help me feel better...and Gatorade. Can't forget Gatorade. 

Millions of people around the world would never be comforted when they were sick. That might seem like a simple fact, but it struck me pretty hard this morning. They would not have Gatorade and a comfy bed. They would not have a shower to clean themselves up in, or maybe even family to love and care for them. Something as simple as the flu or food poisoning (or whatever I have) might not just be extremely uncomfortable and sad, but it could easily kill them since they are already malnourished and living in total poverty. 

This simple realization hit me hard. My heart broke a bit. I've always had a heart for people that live in poverty and hopelessness, and this reaffirmed my wish to just make people feel better, and point them to the love and hope that is found in Christ alone. 

That was the immediate thing I gained from that not so pleasant experience. As I thought about it, I realized something else later. That was me before I knew Christ. Covered in my own sin and ugliness, helpless, he took me in, cleaned me up and showed me love. 

Thanks God. Even though it took me being sick to really get these points across, I'm happy you did. Hopefully this post does something other than just completely gross you out, hopefully it makes you think about what Jesus has done or can do in your life, and how you can love the ones who need it. 

With Arms High and Heart Abandoned

I am the type of person who raises their hands while worshiping. Well…after that awkward statement, let me keep explaining. I used to think people who did that were freaks, but as I grew in my relationship with God, being the physical touch oriented person that I am, it seemed only natural that praise would come from not only my mouth, but also my hands and body (hence the reason I’m in Souled Out…but anyway).

I always kind of wondered why it just feels natural when you’re engaged in worship to lift your hands to the Lord. I was reading the Word yesterday, I came across a verse that in an out-of-context and random way, made things click in my brain. Psalm 28:2 - Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help, as I lift up my hands toward your Most Holy Place.

Could the reason it feels so right to raise our hands be because we are surrendering to the Lord? Reading that verse, it made me think of someone who realizes they can’t do it by themselves, and are crying out to the Lord, surrendering to Him as their rock. So maybe there really isn’t a deeper meaning behind lifting your hands in praise- maybe it’s just an extra expression of worship, but from now on, when I lift my hands, surrender to God is going to be the first thing on my mind.